How To Lose In 22 Steps
by JavaForever
Summary: An analysis of why Lorelai and Luke blew up the way they did in the 6th season. I hope you enjoy it and yes, there will be more! With a special dedication to gilmorefanforever in honor of her birthday! "This one's for you..."
1. The New and Improved Lorelai

A/N: I have no idea what to tell you about this one. It is basically a collection from Season 6. Thoughts of Lorelai and Luke from each episode. I'm exploring what caused the break-up. What makes it special? Each part was written as I watched the episode. So, do you think you'll give it a chance?

Disclaimer: Don't own. Out of creative ways to say it.

Chapter 1

He is confused. A minute ago she was practically in tears and now she is proposing. He must have missed a very important step in their conversation. She repeats the question. He says yes. What else would he say? He listens to her nervous rambling and takes it as her acceptance of his acceptance. Why is this so awkward? They have to do something, so they search for drinks to toast with. Why aren't they celebrating? Why haven't they kissed or hugged or done anything normal? She heads for the door making a quick quip on the way. He calls for her to wait and instantly regrets it as a look of panic flits across her face. Suddenly she is questioning him. He remains confused. What would make her doubt his love? He is horribly guilty as she continues on about why he doesn't love her. Why is she so insecure? This isn't like her at all. The moment ends when he interrupts, assuring her that he loves her. She won't slow down though. She insists that they have to do this. She needs to be happy right now. He knows that she needs someone to take care of her and he will be there when she is ready.

She pulls him towards the gazebo. She is elated and he holds a case of "chick beer" under his arm. They stop and he hands her a drink taking one for himself as well. They're just about to toast when the lights flash off. After several protests, Taylor relents and the lights come back on. They make their toast. "To us." He leans in to kiss her. She, of course, makes a joke. She wouldn't be Lorelai if she didn't. He can't help but smile as he pulls her into an embrace and presses his lips against her's. He feels her shiver at the contact and pulls her even closer. He loves that he can still bring about that kind of reaction from just a kiss. He notices that even in the happy moment, part of her seems scared. Until she is ready to let down her wall of defense and the hurt leaks out, he will hold her. Remind her that she is loved by him. For now, that is all that he can do.

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She sits heavily on the bench in her daughter's room. None of her things are in it. It's just another reminder of the betrayal from her parents and the rift between her and her Rory. She reminds herself that Rory just needs a little perspective and she will figure out the mistake and come back home. In her mind she is plagued with questions. She never would have considered going back home when she was sixteen. Why would Rory ever want to come back? Why couldn't she see how big a mistake this was? Why did her parents stab her in the back the way they did? She knows that they don't appreciate her life or the choices she has made, but do they actually hate her? She has never even considered that before, but now it crosses her mind and it hurts more than she'd like to admit.

Luke. The name enters her thoughts. She feels a little silly for her proposal the other night. After all, she simply cornered him. Maybe he felt he had to say yes. Maybe he doesn't actually want to marry her. She remembers that he bought a house, but that doesn't mean that he is ready for marriage. She can't help but feel that she is making a mistake with this. All she wants is to have someone to lean on. Half of her support system has been ripped away from her and there's nothing she can do about it. She hopes with all her might that Luke won't ever leave. What if he does? She can't stand the thought of it. Tears well up in her eyes as the mantra, "Rory left. Rory's gone. She's never coming back." plays in her mind. The tears take the form of rage and she flings her water bottle across the room in defiance. The minute it hits the wall the tears flow. Fast, free, she couldn't stop them if she tried. She buries her face in her hands and lets it all out. She sobs and wishes that her daughter would come back. That she knew for sure that Luke will never leave her. When did she become so insecure? Suddenly the front door opens and Luke is calling for her so that he can give her the ring. She isn't ready for him to see her cry this way, so she wipes the tears away and hurries out. He can't see her tears. Not yet. Not yet.


	2. Fight Face

A/N: Here is chapter 2! From Fight Face. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I still don't own, nothing has changed.

Chapter 2

He listens to her babble happily about her new pet. What possessed her to buy a dog? Suddenly, she mentions the love that the dog gives and it clicks. She needs someone or something to rely on her. This dog depends on her for everything and loves her unconditionally. She can do no wrong with this dog. It makes him nervous to see her attach herself to the dog like this. What will happen when he dies? How will she react? He also is slightly amused that the dog is just as neurotic as she is. What normal dog would be afraid of someone drinking? He realizes that she just needs to take care of something since her daughter has left, so he lets it go for now.

He decides to enter into banter with her hoping to distract her from any depression. A rant about the smell of dogs is the perfect distraction. Suddenly, she is pulling them out of the kitchen and onto the porch. Her crazy dog forced them out of the house so that he could eat. They sit down on the porch swing and he starts telling her about his plans for the Twickham House. She seems reluctant to sell her house and it baffles him. She was so gung-ho on the idea of buying the Twickham House. What happened? She coos as the crazy dog sits down on the steps inside. She is talking baby talk about a dog. It scares him slightly, but that is Lorelai for you. She can be slightly scary sometimes. He can't muster up the same enthusiasm over the dog as she can, so he simply guides them inside. She reminds him not to say any word beginning with q, but he is consumed by his thoughts and doesn't answer. He isn't even trying to be happy for her that she has a dog. Shouldn't he be? What if one day she gets tired of his non-supportive ways and leaves? He knows that it is a silly thing to think, but he can't help it. He would become sad and angry if his partner barely acknowledged his life. He makes a note to do that for her from now on. He is improving. He is going to be the best husband she will ever have or dream of having.

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Luke is mad. She doesn't know why, but things are strained between them. It makes her nervous. She realizes that it is probably the early hour making her tense, but she doesn't know why Luke is mad. Suddenly, he is yelling at her about a Frisbee on her roof. She tries not to be mad, but she is anyway. He is yelling at her over a stupid Frisbee! Then, he says it. It's like a slap in the face. She can't believe that he would tell Rory about the engagement. It's just one more reason for her daughter to hate her. She wasn't the one to tell her about one of the most important steps in her relationship with Luke. Worst of all, Luke is still mad. She hates it. She doesn't want to fight with him at all. It makes her scared. It simply reminds her that he could leave at any time. It forms knots in her stomach.

He lets it out. That he thinks she is being stupid over this fight with Rory. He turns around in a huff and the knots are pulled even tighter. He is still angry. Is he going to forgive her? She feels herself nearing a state of hysteria and contemplates begging him not to be mad. She calls out to him desperately. He assures her that they are okay, but there's still something off in his voice. She remains just as scared as before. She hates feeling so dependent on him, but she needs him. Now more than ever. She just can't let him see how shaken up she really is. It isn't time yet. Not now.

TBC…


	3. The UnGraduate

A/N: Yes, this chapter came quickly, but my muse is very demanding about this story! I hope to finish it sometime soon if I keep up this pace! Hope you enjoy and review please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls! Jeez, you people are dense…

Chapter 3

He walks into the apartment and sees the dog lying on the floor. It ticks him off, but he doesn't really think anything else of it. Then, he sees the chocolate lying on the floor. Panic. The dog ate chocolate. He may not be a dog person, but he knows that chocolate can kill dogs. He runs to him and smells his breath. Chocolate.

No one is answering at the animal hospital. Where the heck are those people? Shouldn't a hospital be open 24/7? In a blind panic he calls Babette. She answers sounding very groggy and very annoyed. Her tone softens as he explains what is going on and she tells him the name and address of the nearest veterinarian. As he runs to the house, the panicked thinking sets in as well. What would Lorelai do if he were the one responsible for the death of her beloved dog? Would she still want to be with him? He can't believe that he might have ruined their engagement so quickly.

Bang. Bang. Bang. He pounds on the veterinarian's door and yells for him to answer. A sleepy looking man opens the door. The minute he hears what is wrong, the man ushers him and the dog into the house. The doctor sets up in his living room and is back in a minute holding some sort of medicine. He forces it down the dog's throat and about five minutes later, Paul Anka is throwing up. He would love to be anywhere else in the world right now, but the dog needs to be taken care of. It's Lorelai's dog and he can't let it die. So he holds the dog as he throws up all of the chocolate and thanks the doctor. He slowly walks back to his apartment, still carrying Paul Anka. He sets the dog down on the floor and grabs a bowl of water. For three hours, he holds the bowl under the dog's nose to make sure he is "re-hydrating properly" as the doctor put it. Finally, the dog is asleep. He goes around his entire apartment and chocolate proofs the whole thing. A situation like this can never happen again. He can never disappoint Lorelai and certainly can't ever kill her dog. He fears losing her and feels weak for his fears. Maybe he'll deserve to lose her if he ever does, but it can't be because he killed her dog. No, the dog is way too important to her.

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She feels him stir next to her in the bed. He is trying to be quiet and let her sleep, but she always wakes up when he gets out of bed. It's something about his presence. She sleeps so much better when he is there than when he isn't. It sounds sappy and a little creepy, but it is so true. She watches him as he gets himself a glass of water and her thoughts begin to wander. Sookie has been pressuring her to set a date, but for some reason she just can't do it yet. She doesn't exactly know why. It isn't because she doesn't want to be with Luke. She really is happy about the engagement, but she knows that things won't be right until Rory is back.

She wishes that things were okay between her and her daughter. She wishes that things were normal so that she could plan the wedding. She wishes that she could be truly happy. It feels like the longest time since she has felt completely elated. She wonders if it is bad that she didn't feel that way during the proposal. She wonders if Luke thinks that the proposal was just a distraction from all the bad between her and Rory. She knows that she needs to say something to let him know how happy she is to be getting married to him. She calls out to him.

She is surprised to hear about the debacle between Paul Anka and Luke. Actually, her first reaction is fear. It turns quickly to admiration for this wonderful man in front of her. The man who would spend so much time taking care of a dog he doesn't even like. Just for her. She doesn't deserve someone like him. She bows her head at the thought and can hardly stand to look him in the eye. It is a strange feeling. Finally, she forces herself to say the words that have been on the tip of her tongue for awhile now. She doesn't want to set a date until Rory is back home. He doesn't kick or scream or throw a temper tantrum. He seems fine with it. She sighs in relief, but that is taken over by guilt a minute later. She just made him wait to get married. That probably didn't assure him of her happiness about their relationship. Oh well. She'll try again some other time. Later.

TBC…


End file.
